Well, it all began with a boom. A big boom. Or a big bang. I, myself, prefer the word, "boom", but modern scientists and such seem to have named it, 'bang', which is really a pity because "bang" is nowhere near as fun to say as "boom".
But it all started with either a boom or a bang. It doesn't really matter. Unless it was begun otherwise, possibly in some sort of religious manner in which some gigantic deity "created it out of nothing".
But anyway, in the beginning, the universe was there. Don't ask me how it came there or I pummel your face in. And somewhere in this universe there was a blue-green planet - very similar, in fact, to this planet, only the humanoids that lived on the planet in discussion were intent upon corrupting it a bit less than we do to ours. Perhaps it took place in a parallel universe. I'm not quite sure myself, but it is certainly a possibility. The people on this planet (which was called Htrae) were called Namuhs. They recycled their trash, and took care of their planet in every conceivable way. Almost every animal that was capable of helping preserve the environment did so. Except for one.
Now you see, children, the majority of humans on Earth are rotten, spoiled, and downright wasteful above all. There are a few who, in direct contrast, do everything they can to help the environment. On Htrae, It is precisely the opposite. Almost every living thing is intent on keeping Htrae alive and well, but some don't. Some just do everything they can to destroy it. This was the case of one Naigewron Gorfllub. He was a bald, gray frog, one of the few of his kind.
His name was Dr. Jackson B. Gorfllub. Usually, he received much ridicule for such a ridiculous name. It didn’t matter to him. It was a family name. His father had it; his father’s father had it… In fact, “Jackson B. Gorfllub” had been a family name for such a long time that nobody even remembered what the “B” stood for anymore. Some people had begun rumors of it meaning “Bernice”, but Jackson B. Gorfllub “took care of them”.
But, anyway, back to the point. Bernice wanted muck and trash and vulgar things to play in and lay his eggs on. (On Htrae, the male was the one to give birth and lay eggs and such.) As you would think, this turned out being quite a problem, for he lived on such a clean, clear, and nuclear-waste free planet. Perhaps he would have been better off here. He would have so much fun jumping and playing and making high-pitched squeaky noises in the landfills. But when he finally did arrive here, his views had changed.
Every morning, Bernice would emerge from his nest in the sky, fly down to the recycling plant and steal garbage. Garbage that would have been converted to useful products using solar energy. He would take this garbage, store it in his gigantic throat, and then he would bring it to the river and spit it out. The toxic pollution that he created normally singed the hair on top of his head right off, forcing him to wear a wig all of the time. He looked rather funny in his obviously fake toupee, and he received much ridicule for it. But, like those who ridiculed his name, these frogs were taken care of.
Eventually, due to Bernice’s littering, the lake, which was originally clean and fresh and thriving, became a haven for such disgusting things like used napkins, banana peels, and nuclear waste. The nuclear waste was his favorite part. He would eat it, wallow in it, sleep in it… (Actually, the slime makes quite a comfortable bed. Really, if you don’t mind hideous mutations, you should try it sometime!) He loved his nuclear waste. How beautifully green it glowed, and how wonderfully slimy it was. The nuclear waste was his love, his joy, everything that was anything to him. Eventually, the nuclear waste proposed to him, and they became engaged.
Now, I know what you are thinking. Shall I list every one of your precise thoughts and explain them? I believe I shall.
Thought #1: Why is this Naigewron Gorfllub gnawing on my leg?
Answer: All will be made clear if you read on.
Thought #2: Wait a minute… How could nuclear waste propose to a frog, much less propose at all?
Answer: It’s a fiction story. Anything is possible.
Thought #3: Why do you keep referring to the Gorfllub by his middle name?
Answer: It’s a literary technique. I’m using subtle humor. If you didn’t catch it, than perhaps you should not be reading this.
Thought #4: I’ve been reading, and you still have not explained the reason for a random Naigewron Gorfllub gnawing on my leg.
Answer: Goodness gracious! You really are impatient! You children need to learn some form of discipline. I told you that it would become clear to you in time, yet badger me you still do! I’m sure that, over the course of this story, you will learn the reason for Jackson B. Gorfllub gnawing on your leg.
Now that we’ve gotten all that straightened out, we may continue. The Gorfllub and the nuclear waste eloped. When saying their vows however, since they were both physically incapable of saying “I do”, Bernice simply made a low, moaning sound, whereas the nuclear waste bubbled in excitement. Who knows…. Perhaps, instead of, “I do”, both of them really said, ‘The person whom you all believe I am about to elope with is a vile, rude, and despicable creature, who deserves to be thrust into a worm hole, causing them to be ripped into an infinite amount of parts, therefore killing them.”. We shall never know what they really said, but they lived on their lives as if they were married.
Until an unfortunate accident occurred. Htrae, with it’s multitude of hippie environmentalists, was filled with many people who smoked Anaujiram, which was a psychedelic drug that caused you to feel “down” and “calm”.
Before I continue with this story, I must explain something. Of course, what I have to explain will only have a slight bit of significance in the actual story, but I believe it should be said just as well.
Now, what I am about to tell you may very well confuse you in many aspects. It certainly still confuses the hell out of me. I’ve sat for hours trying to understand the following 1,244 words, but have come to no possible conclusion. It should certainly promote many thoughts, but you will soon learn that these thoughts will do nothing but make you mentally unstable, in several different ways. Now, to the point.
Imagine if you will that there was - or rather, is - a person, similar to yourself that thought of something. It was only a passing thought for him, just something that came and went quickly without a trace. It barely made a mark on is memory. In fact, he was probably concentrating on paperwork at the time, so he was trying to block out any other errant thoughts that might distract him.
This man, (or woman…there’s no way of really knowing…), thought of the universe, or the universe that you have come to know. Quickly, quietly, the thought of it crept into his mind and then slipped away without a trace. But, currently, that little speck of a thought is still occurring in his mind. It was a thought of another consciousness- your consciousness. He momentarily created you, only he didn’t really create you, but he created your consciousness. And your consciousness, in a different aspect, imagined everything that you have come to know. What you see right now, every conceivable feeling that you are feeling, everything to you, is simply a product of your conscious mind’s thoughts.
So. A recap of what I’ve tried to explain to you, in a timeline.
---Past---
#1: Well, who really knows what #1 is? Who knows how it began? Somehow, eventually, a person, or living consciousness came to be.
#2: This consciousness went through its imagined life, most likely unaware of the fact that it was a consciousness, not a person in some world somewhere
#3: A passing thought was about to go through his mind. This passing thought contains you, but not really you. You, as a living solid in this world of solids, liquids, plasmas, and gases, truly don’t exist. Your consciousness exists, and that is what creates all of what you see or feel. You are nothing but a passing thought in a much bigger idea that nobody seems to understand the origin of.
---Present ---
#4: The passing thought is going through his mind right now. You are reading this. Or your conscious mind momentarily decided to create it and therefore it became real to you. Either way, you could view it as yourself reading what you are reading right now. (That is possibly the most logical thing I’ve stated in a while.)
---Future---
#5: You will cease to exist. Your conscious mind will convince itself that it is growing older and will eventually die, and, at the precise moment that you die, the passing thought that you are a part of will cease to be. Just to annoy you, I will remind you of something here. The consciousness who you are simply a passing thought of is simply a passing thought of another consciousness, and when it convinces itself that it is dead, the passing thought of the consciousness that you are a passing thought of will simply cease to be. But don’t worry. You will have been deleted from existence far before that, for your conscious mind will have convinced itself that you are dead, and therefore you will die.
Before I continue to #6, I must make you aware of something. /if you gave it much thought, you may have realized this through reading all of that, but every conscious thought that you have at any given time, happens. It happens, and then it is gone. It will seem quick, and perhaps the memory of it will not leave the slightest mark at all on your mind, but realize that those thoughts were the foundations of completely new consciousnesses. They were consciousnesses that lived, and died. They went through their entire imagined life in no more than a millisecond, or possibly no time at all, to you.
But think once again. Is it the fact that they die what makes the passing thought of them pass away? Or when the thought of them goes away, do they immediately die?
#6: An infinite number of consciousnesses will be born and will die, instantly. For, if the consciousnesses that you created took up an amount of time not even noteworthy in your mind, then that must mean that the thought that conceived you must contain those thoughts, for your consciousness contains them. And even if the thoughts were to take up a whole 1/10th of your life, the consciousness that brought you into existence would only have it take up 1/100th of its life. If they took up 1/100,000,000th of your life, then they would take up 1/1,000,000,000,000,000,000th of their life. That’s a one followed by 18 zeros. In order to get the correct amount in relation to their life you must multiply the denominator of how much of your life it took up by itself, and put a one in front of it.
Now, this is in assumption that the thought that you are having takes up the exact same fraction of your life as the passing thought that created you takes up your creator’s life. In order to determine such things when the fraction of time that you have been created in isn’t the same as the fraction of time as your passing thought, you must have the statistic that tells the fraction of life that you take up, and then simply multiply the denominator of the fraction of life that your thought takes up by the fraction of life that you take up, and you have the fraction of time that your passing thought takes up in your creator’s mind. Which would end up being an incredibly small fraction.
In conclusion, I want to remind you that typing this for about two hours straight has proved nothing. It is simply another “What if”, not much different than the concept of a god, or the concept of an inconceivably small speck containing the universe, which exploded, making the universe as big as it is. If a set of beliefs is brought into existence because of my rambling, than so be it. I’ll become famous. But I want you to think about this. So much of it makes sense, yet so much of it, despite the fact that is has no proof, is conceivably possible, right?
And just for kicks, I will add one more confusing thought. If the above paragraphs are true, than that means that what I just typed, and every subdivision of these thoughts created an unimaginable amount of consciousnesses, all living under this prospect, or possibly the subdivisions of this prospect, and being aware of it. But those consciousnesses have already lived and died, at every single minor switch of thought. And, as you read this, your consciousness created similar thoughts to mine. They lived under the same principles that mine lived under.
And if it is true, than I am just a consciousness. If I will myself to, I can live forever, and create whatever I want with my mind. Sort of like a lucid dream. I must believe that I can, and I can!
But in such a case that the world is what it is advertised to be in real life, than doing such things would mean I would be literally insane. I won’t take my chances to convince myself that I am seeing things. I’d rather kid myself to believe that everything I wrote is pure fiction. I want to have my imaginary pawns think I am perfectly sane.
…Have you been stunned and confused yet? I told you that those 1,244 words would do nothing but drive you insane. And they will have little effect on the story.
Anyway, the people of Htrae smoked a lot of Anaujiram. And Anaujiram makes many, many thoughts go through heads. Strange, confusing thoughts. Thoughts containing lives that are incredibly warped and twisted. Once a calamity ever so great occurred - everybody on Htrae was simultaneously high on Anaujiram. So many confusing consciousnesses were created that a miniature worm hole opened up next to Jackson B. Gorfllub and his wife, the nuclear waste. They were sucked in, and were spat out in this universe, at this time. Due to an amazing bit of chance, they happened to land on the same planet – this planet - within several meters from each other.
When you had breakfast this morning, did you feel strange? Sort of like somebody was watching you intently? When you ate, did you look directly down at the food you were eating at each and every bite? You didn’t, did you? I’m sure you should be fine right now, if you had, but no. You didn’t pay attention. Sometime, while you were eating, the nuclear waste was immediately transmitted onto your utensil, and you ate it. That’s why that bite was slimy. Yep. Too bad you didn’t spit it out.
The food you were eating went right to your thighs. And Bernice the Naigewron Gorfllub saw you eat the nuclear waste. He could smell his beloved wife in there. And that is why you have a Naigewron Gorfllub gnawing on your leg.
If it wasn’t apparent, many of these words are spelled backwards, due to the planet being in a parallel universe. Htrae, Namuh, Gorfllub, Naigewron, and Anaujiram – they all translate to Earth, Human, Bullfrog, Norwegian, and Marijuana.
